The Heat of the Sun

Adaptation. That's the key word. Our ancestors adapted to the cold environment by making clothes, kept themselves warm by using fires and a lot of other facts. Chameleons adapt to their environment (or should I say camaflouge?), snakes adapted to their blindness by being heat-sensitive and basically, all the kingdoms of life adapted to the changing ways of the earth to survive. Like some heat-sensitive (and sometimes hating) organism, I now have fairly adapted to the ways and heat of summer. Consider me, deshockified of the excrutiating heat. I can now stand being outside my room for 5-8 hours without sleeping in my room. Adaptation. It wasn't easy but hey, I can now survive summer.

Let's not get too confident though. I'm as precautious and as temperamental as a toddler that needs prozac or antidepressants to survive one hour eating a puree. It can get unbearably hot especially in the afternoon (around 3) and since nothing is good in tv, I usually turn into a hermit and go to my room. I will only emerge when it's dark (and then I will drink blood and turn into a bat!!!) and the sun is tucked safely away to serve its purpose in another part of the world. Then again, when the sun sets, the mosquitos go out to play (more like suck the living daylights out of you) at your feet, well at least our mosquitos.

And so, I do have some tolerance over the byproducts of summer. So bring it on! I'll turn on the aircon.

The Heat of the Sun

Adaptation. That's the key word. Our ancestors adapted to the cold environment by making clothes, kept themselves warm by using fires and a lot of other facts. Chameleons adapt to their environment (or should I say camaflouge?), snakes adapted to their blindness by being heat-sensitive and basically, all the kingdoms of life adapted to the changing ways of the earth to survive. Like some heat-sensitive (and sometimes hating) organism, I now have fairly adapted to the ways and heat of summer. Consider me, deshockified of the excrutiating heat. I can now stand being outside my room for 5-8 hours without sleeping in my room. Adaptation. It wasn't easy but hey, I can now survive summer.

Let's not get too confident though. I'm as precautious and as temperamental as a toddler that needs prozac or antidepressants to survive one hour eating a puree. It can get unbearably hot especially in the afternoon (around 3) and since nothing is good in tv, I usually turn into a hermit and go to my room. I will only emerge when it's dark (and then I will drink blood and turn into a bat!!!) and the sun is tucked safely away to serve its purpose in another part of the world. Then again, when the sun sets, the mosquitos go out to play (more like suck the living daylights out of you) at your feet, well at least our mosquitos.

And so, I do have some tolerance over the byproducts of summer. So bring it on! I'll turn on the aircon.

Z Softdrink

The aftertaste still makes me cringe and want to throw up. Even though I gulped considerable amounts of water, it's polluting taste. Why in the world did I think of drinking the unholy contents of that blasted plastic cup. I didn't have even the least bit of pleasure when I drank it, and after that, hell broke loose in my tongue. I just want that taste to go away! What is this evil liquid? It's black and bubbly and smells like some witch brew only made in labs. Just the smell of it gives me the creeps. I know lots of you like it. Drink it till there's no tomorrow. Well, I usually don't. Especially if it's served in a plastic cup. The black liquid is none other than a popular softdrink that's black and bubbly. Let's name this drink Z.

Z is VERY famous. I think in every continent, it's known throughout. Here, there's even a catchy jingle to it. And with lots of people devouring it everyday, it can be our most favorite sweetheart if it was a person. It sponsors so many things and is even present in a contest that rhymes with the words Pelican Mydoll.

Oh but I LOATHE it. It's my Draco Malfoy to every Harry Potter. My Javert to a Jean Valjean. My Simon to every Paula. Curse its name! Curse it!

But I wasn't always this way. About 3 years ago, I was like every normal human being. I rejoiced at its presence and thirst for more whenever it ran out. I would saver the black liquid as it touched my lips and had a devotion for it. Then, I read some scandalizing facts about it. Like, to dilute one glass of Z you have to drink 20 glasses of water and some other stuff concerning sugar and preserve(atives). I still drank though. But I water binged. Ugh. Stuffing water into your already full mouth makes you feel as if you're drowning.

Then something happened that changed EVERYTHING.......

I was supposed to buy a juice rhyming with Frisky or Pesky. It bought for 10 pesos. So I said to the tindera, "Pesky, manang.". Seconds later, she handed me some cold drink I thought was Frisky. I walked out of the store and sipped Pesky but the liquid that reached my lips was Z. Uh-oh. I wasn't in a Z moment back then and there was plenty of Z in that cup. There was no other choice but to drink everything......and my devotion stopped.

Its taste isnow alien to my tongue. And I don't drink it even though my family somehow loves it. I should too because my grandfather worked for Z once. They think it's...what's the word...self-denial? Truth be told, I just feel sick whenever I drink it. I only drink it now once in a very blue moon (like now). I'm not stopping anyone from drinking the Z drink. It might prevent cancer for all I care. Right now though, I'd rather drink the soup of balut.

The Local Bookstore

When I visit my favorite bookstore, it can be like meeting an old friend whom you're very fond of but don't see often. I would be like a crazed worshipper when they would hold book sales and pride myself at the points I'm slowly gathering from their membership card.

But the two most recent visits I made have taught me A LOT about people and for awhile, that bookstore seemed to me of alien surroundings and all I can say was "Ugh.".

On my first visit, I breezed through with confidence and lightly stepped at their red tiles and passed their detectors. Just as I was making a beeline to their most recent (and probably popular) books, I suddenly felt a discomfort. I sensed some pair of eyes boring into my skull and looking at what I was doing. Looking at my back, I saw the security guard scrutinizing me and slightly grimacing as if I was some bug or stain in his immaculate uniform. We locked eyes for a few seconds and I quickly looked at the book I was holding. It was very uncomfortable. A thought suddenly struck in my mind. He was watching me because I didn't look like a "patron of their wares". Truth be told, I wasn't going to buy anything just yet. I was scouting for my next book and wanted to milk my money's worth. Having no more patience and trust, I got out in a hurry and rushed to an eyeglass store where mom and bro were staying.

I went to that same bookstore the next day to finally buy a book. As I went to the classics, a funny conversation enticed me to listen.

Girl: Kanang, wala na man ang mga tsada na libro. Hala ka oh! Tsada lagi ni!!

Girl 2: Agto na ta ba. Pili nalang diha. Mulaag pa biya ta.

Girl: Kadyut lang. Palit sa ko ug libro para malingaw ko unya. Tindog sa ko uy. Sakit kaayo mag lingkod.

*and so on and so forth*

I was intrigued about the book the girl was talking about. Angels and Demons? Da Vinci? Don Quixote? When I glanced, it was Tagalog Love Novels. Oh. And the girl was still what, elementary? My friends and I had a laugh about those romance novels once. She read some passages about the book and it was really.....R-18ish. I'm not going to get into the details but if that's what most of the youth is gobbling out right now, consider me love sick.

I found the book I was looking for (Les Miserables) and asked Dad for some money to buy the book. As I patiently lined up the counter, a woman suddenly but in out of nowhere and cut in the line (the line by the way was only me and another woman who was paying). Imagine my irritation and surprise. Never once did I encounter that situation. I was always clear on where my line was. She was buying some comics, hurray for her. Finally it was my turn. I paid and got out of that bookstore as fast as possible clutching my book and breathing a sigh of relief.

Afterthought: I might have been paranoid when it came to the guard. It's his duty by the way. And a glance might just be a glance. Then again, a look is always different compared to what-are-you-doing complete with get-out stare. I hope the two girls got their romance novels (its summer, by the way) but I seriously hoped they were as good as reading their Science books (they were elementary pupils for the love of books!). As for the woman, I forgive her (-_-). I wasn't really in a line when I think about it.

Presumptions and paranoia all in the same day. It might just be a cruel joke of my imagination but then again, jokes are half-meant.

Angst of Mental Constipation

Stick me to a post and tie me up with my baby nephew. Let me stick it out with my dead cellphone. Stick some post-its or whatever to my forehead! Just don't let me get stuck with boredom.

It sticks to me the way a greedy child can't get his fingers off that birthday cake. No matter what I do, it doesn't go away and leave me alone. I watched tv, surfed the net, slept, listened to the radio and ate koko crunch with a good serving of milk in the middle of the afternoon and still.....I'm bored. In the background, there's a guy saying "I wanna live my life like everybody else." over and over again. Boredom. I want to murder it.

I had 5 hours of tv time, 6 hours of sleeping time, 3 hours of surfing, 56 scoops of koko crunch, 5,000 blinks the past 4 hours, 70 punches of my cellphone's keypad and 8 yawns. I feel like a 50 year old and I have a temperament of a 5 year old. This is all because of boredom. Please, let me live!!!

Don't worry. I'll probably wake up from boredom like a chick suddenly cracking from its shell. If I'll do, I'll shout at the top of my lungs and make my life less dusty (I already tried shouting..in my mind).

I'm going to get a Ph.D. Get a cool car. Get all the poor kids and give them a better life or get a charity and support it. But right now, I have to get out of boredom and get a life.

Boredumb!

We should live our life to the fullest. Don't waste any moment. Live every second, make every day count.
Live like you would die tomorrow....or the next hour.....or this second.


Then, why am I bored?

Ah, yes!Boredom......this stupid vacuum of thoughts that you just can't get out of.
Save me, I can't write anything. I don't want to write about this stupid predicament.
This is officially......

the constipation of the human brain (hey!that's a nice book title).
See ya there!

I-ce-cri-me-for-sa-le?

I scream, You scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM!!!!!!

I can't put my finger on it...but ice cream has a magical properties. When manang bought mango (that classic mango flavor I always ate when I was 5), my eyes lighted up like a firefly's glow when its dark. I gobbled it up in mom's office and gobbled up some more when I came home. Its magic still lingers within me, giving me a tingling feeling in my bones.

Maybe it's sugar rush or just the way I haven't eaten one in a very long time. I treated it like what a fish would do when it's suddenly plopped back to the water. Because of the cream, I actually asked my parents if they wanted water and never grumbled when father asked me to get some ice cream in the fridge. In fact, I stared up the sky and smiled at the billowing clouds above me.

There's just some things that can give you that natural high. It might be the sight of a friend, a phone call, a message, pasta......you name it. I've experienced so many nh's in my life. Last week, it was buying 2 new pocketbooks. The weeks before, finishing the exams. 2 year ago, graduation.And now, ice cream. A friend once said she loved ice cream so much she ate it every morning. I thought she'd gone crazy. I now see why.

Without ice cream life and fame are meaningless------Anonymous

To stop

Everyday, I wake up to the sight of sunbeams gently passing through my window, and the ever reliable applemango tree with its yellowbell flowers entwining it. And I look at my surroundings, gazing at the book I read the night before, the mp3 I listened to before I fell asleep, and the pile of newspapers in the corner, and the lamp light I used, and the mirror, the other bed.......an assortment of things!

I then proceed to watch tv and after the commercial, go down to get some breakfast (usually cereal). I come back just in time to see FRIENDS and laugh out loud at Phoebe. Then, after gobbling up my cereal, it's tv time whole morning (considering I already took a bath, summer heat is just sooo unbearable sometimes).

And the rest of the day pasts like as if time stopped for me and only the sky was moving at its normal pace. After lunch, I would read the book, and sleep at siesta hour. And by the end of the day (with tv, meals, books and surfing in between), I settle comfortably in my bed and think of how life can be so precious. I suddenly found the beauty in all the things. I stopped to smell the roses and the roses welcomed me back.

Summer can be magical and its working wonders on me. And when sleep silently preys on me, at a last final attempt, I open my eyes and see the shimmer the street lights play on my windowpane. With that, I finally yield, and wake in joyful slumbers.

Children yet, the tale to hear,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Lovingly shall nestle near.

In a Wonderland they lie,
Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die:

Ever drifting down the stream --
Lingering in the golden gleam --
Life what is it but a dream?

-------------Lewis Carrol

I don't know anymore!!!!!!

The days just pass by me as if I was a shrub beside a growing tree. Since the start of summer, I have become disoriented with what date, day or time it is. It's weird, when once I would respond directly if asked what day it is, now all I can say is "It's summer. Is there still Alpine?".

Oh yes, with the advent of summer, I can't possibly worry myself with time, right? Forget time, I'll live in a virtual time zone all by my lonesome with time stopping to a slow tick like a snail on top of a turtle walking in a path which is very dry and barren.

But because of this consequence, I have become disoriented with my surroundings. I don't care if I wake up at 9! It's summer! I don't care if its a Monday, it's so hot!

I still muse though when someone tells me what day it is. "What? It's Wednesday? It would be....umm....our Philippine History by now!" or "Yes, no Science today!". Then, I'll realize oh wait.....it's summer. There is no school (hollow voice with a tint of awe).

I guess it's what summer can do to you if you're just a student doing nothing but watch tv, eat, read books and sleep. I'll have to deal with this indifference for quite awhile. Kidding aside, what day is it today?

And the clouds pass through

As I wander my way

And the sky turns blue

It's not even Wednesday

Hibernation and World Domination

I am paying tribute to this wonderful piece of metal and gear called the airconditioner (praise!praise!all sing praise!!). What a help it can be in these hot summer months called summer.

For the past weeks, I have increasingly spent quality time NOT in front of the tv but in a cool and heat-hating place called my room with an airconditioner. I don't want to leave that north pole! I want to stay and freeze there with my glass of lemonade and my good book. But, yes, (my) creature comforts have to be satisfied. So, once in awhile, I go out and enter...the burning core of the sun.

Oh but I have a plan! I just watched a Discovery Channel program a long, long time ago that focused on hibernating bears somewhere in the frigid zones. And suddenly, out of my musings in my bed, I had an idea. So that I will NEVER leave my Aspens, I will.....HIBERNATE (I am sooooo good!!!!).

How, you ask, would I make this absurd (puny mortal!) plan come true?!?!? Snivelling copperfreak! I will hibernate because I can hibernate! And if I do, I will RULE THE WORLD!!!!!!(after.....3 months?????)

My hiber-SENSATION plan: (ssh...do not DARE imitate)

I will go to the mall's grocery center and get everything essential there (mr. chips, tropicana and water). After I get everything essential, I buy a new pillow and pillow sheet and buy every book I find interesting (3 months is a very loooong time to hibernate). I go home and make myself bloatingly fat with some of the essentials and 3 servings of breakfast, lunch and dinner and enter the iced zone of my room.

Then I sleep. When I wake up, I eat and read. Then sleep. I will lock the door and make sure it's made out of some VERY thick and hard material with only me having the key. And I'll continue to sleep, and eat and read...and eat, and read and sleep.....and read and sleep and eat.........until.......

3 months! I'll alarm my phone for the end of summer heat. Extremely bloated, diabetic, sneezing, coughing and carrying many of the deadliest disease in my body, I go out of the snowing room (which by then has evolved to the Mesozoic Era.....containing mini dinosaurs???). And, I'll go back to being a normal, human (bear) being (if i don't die in my hibernation months or get shocked by the change of temperature and rushed to the hospital or grow bored and open the door to summer or the airconditioner is fully on forever or I don't get killed by the dinosaurs inhabiting my mini-planet).

Hahaha!!!I'll survive the summer heat and RULE THE WORLD (or nation)!!!!!Because by then, everyone would be so tired and cranky from the prickly heat. And there I would be amidst World War III saying something like this....

Dodong: I will kill you, Ondong because it's so hot! (Dodong is a politician)

Ondong: Not if I kill you first! (Ondong is a scientist who failed to solve global warming)

*knives are drawn. just when D&O are about to strike.......

Me: STOP IN THE NAME OF AIRCONDITONERS!I am here to rule the world!

*Dodong and Ondong bow down and make me the president*

Ha! Foolish mortals! Because of my ingenious plan, I am the President! And just because I watch tv.

I am so good.

Goodbyes and Good life

Official. Final. Certified. Legitimate. Authorized. Approved. Irrevocable. It's the end.
Dead end. The point of NO RETURN.

Blossoming .Initiation. Launching. Introduction. Development. Unfolding. It's the Beginning.
Creation. The START.

The end and the beginning. The finish and the start. The death and the life.

It's absolutely the end of school. It's definitely the beginning of summer.

Say goodbye everyone....

and say hello to that good friend called Summer.

Skyper

Quiet days are now before me. With the sun now at it's prime, I expect it to love my skin and warm it up to the epidermis. Blue skies are now in sight with cirrus clouds giving it some added color. And where am I with all this sunny paradiso around? Well, you can find me in a particular place in my house, under a blue roof, above 6 floors and feeling on top of the world. Yup, I will be in my own little tower, enjoying the cool winds and the blue, blue heavens.

I'll sleep the lazy afternoons through (especially if its a Sunday) and hoard my own mini-library with all the good books I can find. With a cold, glass of juice beside me, I will contemplate on things like the meaning of life and the meaning of existence. I will stop to look at the clouds and gaze at their beauty. I won't hesistate to explore the sky and fly right through it. Yes, I'll soar with all my might.

In that quiet afternoon, I would feel contented. Knowing that, I am at the right place at the right time, enjoying my humanity and giving life a better look through all its haze.

Skies the limit. Meet you there.^^

Waking Up

There are moments in life that can wake you up from your sleeping, dreamy status and give you a shout. It might be in the form of a person, an incident, anecdote, story, place.....even just a small moment. Just a look from another person, just a glimpse, just a second can change your life and the way you look at things. That is what happened to me and that small moment has been an eye-opener.

I was just sipping my mango shake in a pretty upbeat cafe.While my mom and her client were talking about important matters, I was lost in my own little world. Thinking about what I would do this summer and trying not to have a brainfreeze.I sat in front of an untinted window. I was able to see the motorelas and bananacue vendors and people passing by outside the cafe. Trying hard not to look at them though, I felt guilty everytime I did. Who wouldn't when some people stared at me because I was just sipping a shake while they were outside in the excrutiatingly hot sun.Plus, the people who passed by where somehow hard-up and haggard looking. The motorelas were loud, the vendors were sweating like hell, the people looked as if they were giving up on life and here I was, a shake-sipper, enjoying the cool, airconditioned room in a cafe. And to think, just glass and cement were separating me from them!

Despite that, I kept my cool. I just stared into my shake most of the time and tried to understand what mom and her client were saying. Just as I was coming to my comfort zone again, it happened. Reality bit me...and I almost fainted from her bite.

A girl stopped for a few seconds to look at my shake and to rearrange her brown, empty folder. The look on her face. Her hair was all askew and uncombed. Her uniform was dirty and wrinkled. Oh but her face! The way she stared at me and that thing. In those few seconds when I looked at her, I saw how hard life can be and so sad. She hurriedly walked away, but when I followed her path, she suddenly stopped because a bunch of young men were carelessly blocking her way (it was a narrow path). She had to stop and I could only see her brown (probably from too much sun) hair. I couldn't look anymore. It was so sad.

I can't remember her face anymore...but I do remember her eyes.The eyes that gave me the shivers and was the first pair of eyes that opened to its owner's soul. The sadness, the confusion, the longing.....I couldn't just trap myself anymore in my little world. It wasn't fair for me and to others.

Wherever that girl is, may she find peace in her unsettled heart. I imagine a father drunk, a mother haggard, her little siblings and her older good-for-nothings. I imagine her quick steps, her tired eyes, her faded dreams, her bitterness... her longing.

Let's wake up people. There are many people in this country who have those same faces. Let's not be indifferent. Let's live a better life. We may not do much, but at least we can try. For those kind of girls, for those tired moms, for those drivers, those vendors, those children...a soul is waiting to be filled by others and an eye is hoping for a better day.

(If you can suggest a charity in CDO, please contact me.I want to help.And maybe you can too. For that girl and for everyone else.)

Happy days

I woke up in the morning and felt something different.Never (and I mean never) in my life had I awoken from my sleep more rested and peaceful than EVER before.I looked at my wristwatch.It was almost 8:00.Holy shiatsu!I'm gonna be late for school!Then I realized.....there was no school[insert hollow and I-just-remembered-that voice about...here].It was already summer.

My day passed like a dream. I went to school (yes,it was summer but I had to go because of some last minute projects) feeling not the least obligated and carefree.I didn't have to worry about some stupid exam nor that hard activity card. I was free at last!It was summer and I was loooving it.

By the end of the day,I was going home to my house once again.When I reached it,I immediately felt at peace and happiness flooded over me.I went straight to the kitchen and got me some drinking glass.Walked lazily to the water dispenser and drank some water like I always did in my school days.But now,something changed.....a smile now crossed my face and made me laugh.

Heavenly

This was taken from my notebook.....March 7,2006...English time

-I once saw a star in the sky. Its brightness engulfed my being. That was long ago. It's twinkling somewhere else....

In my heaven, there will always be rain in the morning. That kind of rain that's soft and shimmery. The wind would blow unto my face and the drops would shower my skin and just pierce my soul.

The sun would shine in the last few hours of the day. The clouds would glow pink or orange and the fluffy things would bask in the sun's glory. Oh those beautiful sights!

When the sun slowly fades in the horizon, a star or two would suddenly twinkle out into the sky. One by one, they unfold their tiny dresses and they (so vain!),danice in the light of thier companions. It would be like a ball! Masquerades, twirls.....aah! It would be a beauty to look at each one. I know I could discern their faces. They'll smile at me and invite me to come join them.

And I'll soar! With the moon to guide me, I'll fly! The happiness I'd feel with the rushing wind passing me. When I reach the sky, I'd curtsey to the glowing things and give them a nod or two. I'll dance with them for hours and my laughter will always mingle with their tinkling voices.

My heaven! Oh! And I'll smile contentedly and say goodye to the stars.

(I just finished reading "The Five People You Meet in Heaven"...sweet inspiration^^)

On summer days

-all things come to an end......all winters become springs...and spring turns to fall.....and fall to summer...-

I slowly walked away from school. It suddenly seemed quiet and dull.Plus, the sky was kinda gloomy blue (I felt like I was in a Coldplay video...).My sense of hearing got heightened as if it was a new-born ear (right....).A radio suddenly blared out of the blue.From that moment on, I knew the winds of change blew onto my face.School bowed out and summer finally greeted me with a kiss and its characteristic sunny smile.

My freshmen year has finally ended.Now,it is just memories filled with both joy and sadness and one helluva experience.It's still new to me.I can't believe that I'm not really a freshmen anymore but becoming a sophomore.

I saw the Grade 6 batch practicing their graduation and congratulated their valedictorian, knowing that I experienced that Grade 6 life. I once heard that "graduation march", I wore the toga and I felt that sense of pride of finally accomplishing something good. Now, as a schoolyear ends, I never felt so wistful in my whole entire life and the memories suddenly flooded my mind.

I also saw the 4th year batch saying thanks to us undergrads for the times they have shared with us. They'll not be with us next year and they're going to march with their diplomas soon. I'm at a loss for words. All I can say is, I haven't felt the emotions yet of never studying in my alma mater ever again but I do know how it feels like when you're leaving something you've known for so long (Grade 6 coming to me again....).

I sank to my bed and saw the clouds basking with the fading sun.Oh summer! Time has flown so fast. I feel like as if I just finished the freshmen orientation. But no, summer has come and I know summer will be gone too.

In a way,I will always leave a piece of my soul in each stage of my life. I left a part of me in my Grade 6 and now, in my 1st year life. It bleeds sometimes, me being a person who always wants to remember the good ol' days. Yes, summer has finally come. I embrace it with open arms and love it to the core. But, like a classmate once said "It cuts like a knife.". I'm no longer a freshmen. And summer is here to be like that in-between place. With that, I respectfully bid goodbye to the bygone years of my life...and welcome a new and rising sun.

-time goes by....it leaves traces.....it leaves memories.......-