Grey!!!!!

Yes, I am a couch potato but no, there are only a few shows I consider gems that are worthwhile. I'm not taken by Naruto, Spongebob sickens me (big, evil smile), One Tree Hill and The OC are tied up to my subliminal mind as swooning teenage girls who want to lose weight. I find every telenovela, chinovela and koreanovela PATHETIC and ANNOYING. I could rattle off some more shows but no, I stop here (by the way, I'm lost on "Lost" and 24 and Alias give me a whaaaat???).

Yes, I am a couch potate but no, my tastes are fickle. Yes, I have watched the shows mentioned above one way or another but that doesn't mean I adore them (opposite in fact). But one show really caught my attention to the point that I've spent a whole lunch surfing about them during fiesta (eating lechon while reading character bios). Well, I don't think you guys would know the show but I must scream the show that has made me laugh and give me brain food all at the same time...it's *drumroll* GREY'S ANATOMY!!!

It started out with a fascination. Who is that pretty girl who I keep seeing on Studio 23 talking about surgery...hmm....then I watched the DVD of Season 1 and bam! I fell in love with the colorful surgeons of Seattle Grace Hospital. What really drew me in hook,line and sinker was that it wasn't a medical show full of boring surgeons rattling of diseases, it was more than that. It was funny, and smart, and thought-provoking and it was like Ally Mcbeal in a hospital setting. of All I can do now is await the season finale to be aired this week, wondering, waiting......para sa katong makarelate lang...and by the way, I was so sad Sandra Oh (who plays Dr.Cristina Yang, the cold b*tch of the hospital) didn't receive the Emmy. No one so cold has given so much warmth and joy.

Go Grey's Anatomy!!!You rock my world!!!!!(wa na ni....)

Wondering

Who is she? What does she do on rainy nights like this? What does she normally eat during snack time? Really, who is she?

What does she want to do when she grows up? Does she love vanilla or chocolate, is she a dog-person or cat-lover? What makes her smile, that smile that makes her eyes shine and me daydream in a boring class. Who is my girl??

When you sat next to me, did you know? When you laughed at my goofiness, did you see me smile back? When I wronged, did you see me break a sweat?

"Marl, kinsa na sya??"An inquiring mind asked....I asked myself, kinsa kaha noh?? Listen everyone, I never knew...but now I know. Shh...it'll be our little secret.

I ask myself these questions because I know where it'll lead me to (ehem...). I quote myself "Not love, nor infatuation, but hope.", and you know what guys? I feel as if my hope is propelling me to somewhere new, where a dream can mean reality, and reality is just a dream.

For now, I quietly wonder. But like what someone said "It's better to know than wonder." and I honestly hope, my questions will be answered by her.

Loud and Annoyed -_-

I'm pissed. This day has been so draining and pathetic I can't even begin to comprehend the fact of it's patheticness. Gawwwwd!!!!

For start, I don't know why I'm pissed or I can't put my oh so proverbial fingers on that one spot that hits the bullseye. That's what has been nagging me all evening since I came home and slept with my uniform on! Come dinner time, I found my face contorting into a hollow, grim, don't-touch-me-or-I'll-bite-you look. If you only saw me, you would have thought I was on Botox because my face just had that fake, unwrinkled expression.

I wish that all these "angst" that I'm feeling right now can all just bug off and STAY AWAY FROM ME!!I want to be a happy kid and I want to stay that way.I go to school seeing the same faces, learning the same things, doing the old routine, that I just don't want it anymore.

I was walking through school and I realized, why do I bother? On one side, there are some schoolmates of mine talking about their lovelife and singing the same highschool musical songs and cursing, and laughing and acting cool taking pictures of themselves on their cellphones. Shaaatap!!!Isn't there anything else to do?

Then there are people grouped together who stand around a food area talking loudly and looking at the next person they'll devour or the guitar players and their brood who can't separate a bar from a school. You think it's entertaining???I guess it is, but most of the time, give me a break.

I'm sorry. I'm just pissed. I find that my life has climaxed into badmouthing other people in school. I'm sooo sorry. Go on with whatever you're doing. Live your life. Love it.

As for me, I sit and wonder when that glorius hour will come when I suddenly realize, I need to sleep.

Oh and by the way, I'm soooo antisocial.

Sitting Beside Me

You came and I noticed. I knew something was coming, I just didn't believe. I couldn't, I wouldn't, I was the only one blind in a land of one-eyed freaks. But no, it hit me big time, it hit me in the moments of still pondering, of staring blankly at the wall, of staring blankly at time. No, it's not love. No, it's not infatuation. It's something else...which makes this heart of mine flutter with undescribable hope. Oh you and your ways....

You came in a hot day full of dirty floors and buzzing fans. I remember, I just had lunch (or was it snacks) and I was preoccupied with my life that seemed to be filled with questions and exclamation marks. Then you came along, wizzing past me with an air of nonchalance. I gave out a smile deep inside me, and my inner feuds were quelled with your sweet voice. Stupid me, giving a glance, I knew there was something about you.

And so, pretending to be preoccupied, I lived like nothing happened. But no, something did happen. I sit near you, not knowing if this would be another day or an experience I'll never forget. But I was still blind! Blinded by a spirit that refused to believe. I closed my eyes even before I opened it. Silly me! How many tries did you have to try to freeze this drenching cold.

I sat, then you sat...right next to me.

My day was complete. This is not love, nor infatuation. This is hope...glorious hope.

For those who know what I'm talking about....ooops...no one does.

Nagtatanga na Ako

"When I became bored (to death one rainy day....)"

The rain drops
To my soul
Drenching me
With its coolness

Like a drooping flower

Soaked and forlorn
The rain drags
To who knows where

It soaks my dreams
Drenches my spirit
And makes me dazed
Like a helpless patient

As a drop falls
In this giving earth
Hope springs forth
A new day begins

I noticed something happening to me these past few weeks. I guess its always been with me but I just never realized it. Ok, here goes....I'm blanking out big time.I've come to realize that staring blankly at space has become a national pastime of mine these weeks. I mean, I knew I had "tanga" moments every other day but now, its like every other hour or any chance I get.Hmm... am I doomed?

This tangatisis usually happens during after school hours in the lobby. I sit in a secluded spot and I stare....and stare....and stare.Even if I join some friends, I'd get bored and just space out from reality. I'm now usually seen staring at the floor or sky or hmm....a bag and be blank till the cows come home. No matter how many schoolmates pass me by and say an occasional "Hi!", I only respond quietly and continue in my "own world". What in the world...

What irks me most is when others call me and say "Mr Lonely..." or "Mar, serious kay ka!". It makes me boil all over. I don't want to talk to you this moment, I'd rather be alone, ok???I guess I'm becoming a loner but I'd rather be by myself and be comfortable in my own skin than hang out with a bunch of people feeling like I should be sociable. Puhleeeez....

But that doesn't mean I don't want company. I enjoy company even! It's just that, in this tumultous stage called adolescence (ngeek!haha...), I feel as if I need to space out and discover what really lurks in the dungeons of my mind. Scratch that, like I'm really thinking deep thoughts. Most of a time, I'll just sit and think...."Why is the sky blue??". Haha....I need to get a life.

Oh well, just a phase....maybe. But whatever happens, I'm enjoying it. I've gone past the stage of being too anxious and pathetic. I need to live my life. I need to get away.

One School Night: The Roach

It was just another school night. After searching the net for pictures on my collage, I go to my room to work on my English Card. So, naive me, went to my room when I suddenly froze in terror because of some creature I saw. If you saw my face, you would have thought that I just saw a white crow! I became instantly paralyzed and a primal instinct in me told me if I should fight or flee. For there, my friends, I saw a cockroach scurrying around my room. The horror...the horror.

I always despised cockroaches and have a weird paranoia about them. There brown, ugly wings make me puke and scowl. I'm hanging only by a thread in declaring myself cockroach-phobic and I admit, I can't gather any wit I have to even dare to kill them! There, I said it! The truth shall set me freeeee!!!! I have a theory (that I invented just about....now) that the reason why they survived every freaking disaster in this earth and may continue to survive is because

• they have evolved to the point of almost becoming immortal
• they suck the living daylights out of people (like me) who get scared of them and convert it to massive power

So, I finally gathered enough wits to cautiously go nearer to the critter. I wonder, ]

"Oh God! What if it suddenly comes near me and goes into my mouth!". Experience gave me a scare one night when talking to my sis, a cockroach suddenly flies at me and lands in my head! I could only do sooo much not to faint and sanitize myself with alcohol.

3 painstaking minutes later, I stamp my feet and....it goes away, lost in the shadows of the night, seen only in my nightmares.